Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Redundant American

I just got a new job today!!!It's only a temporary job as a teachers aide while the Kg aide is on maternity leave, but it's a JOB anyway. And, it's within walking distance from home.

I've been unemployed for sooooo long that a few more days and my spirit would have been so broken I would have paid someone to employ me. I don't maintain redundancy well. (For my American readers, redundant is the Brit expression for unemployment and I love the novelty of it. When you combine the American and British meanings the message is; "I'm not only unemployed, I'm useless too!" So true.)

As a Redundant American I sleep too much, I eat too much (especially chocolate to keep up my spirits), I spend money I don't have, I play computer solitaire toooooo much. How much tooooo much you ask...I got carpal tunnel syndrome from it and yet, I keep playing and playing and playing. *twang*-Ouch! I've tried to learn to use the mouse left handed to alleviate the pain in my right hand. I thought it would be easy because I'm left handed, but all mice are made for right hand use and my left hand on the mouse had become my monkey hand.

I got the call from the secretary bright and early this morning at the unheard of hour of 10 AM! The bright and perky (clearly UN-redundant) secretary explained the job and asked if I could come in to sign some papers before noon. NOON! I tried to sound as if I was awake and that being dressed before noon was something I did everyday. It took all my acting skills to pull it off because I was a redundant mess. Last night after playing solitaire and eating leftover Christmas chocolate till 2 am, I went to bed, couldn't sleep from eating too much chocolate, got up and ate a bowl of cherrios thinking that would help me sleep. What a mistake. That revved up my innards so much I spent 2 more hours in bed listening to my heart beat reverberate into my ears like the African drums in the Tarzan movies I watched as a youth.

But, dear Reader, my redundant days are numbered. After being fingerprinted, passing a criminal background check, a TB test and a physical exam I will be certified safe to dance the Hokey Pokey and sing the ABC sing again!

5 Comments:

At 3:20 AM, Blogger DeOwl said...

Haha, so I get the insane workaholic, "My life has no meaning unless I'm productive" bent from dad AND you?

But glad to hear you have a job. And now you better whip yourself into shape. I wanna lean, mean, momma machine stepping off that plane when you get back here. You're in the land of low fat, lovely parks and gyms. Huphuphup!

 
At 3:20 AM, Blogger Abez said...

Yay! Happy Job Momma! And I'm so glad to hear you're back in KG-Land, I know that's basically an ideal job for you. :) And you need to take care of yourself, no more eating chocolate at 2 am! No more solitaire! What do you wanna do, break your wrists? You only get two!

>>>hugs<<<

 
At 3:23 AM, Blogger Abez said...

Yay! Happy Job Momma! And I'm so glad to hear you're back in KG-Land, I know that's basically an ideal job for you. :) And you need to take care of yourself, no more eating chocolate at 2 am! No more solitaire! What do you wanna do, break your wrists? You only get two!

>>>hugs<<<

 
At 9:40 AM, Anonymous hemlock said...

i dont like solitaire as a game, because everytime i open it, it makes me realise im alone and have no one to play with. that just isnt nice :(

 
At 12:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool site! Lets links exchange? :)
online drug store
drug store pharmacy online
discount drug store online
canadian online drug store
cheap online drug store
prescription drug store online
canada online drug store
drug foreign online store
online drug store ultram
drug medication online prescription store
drugstore online
online drugstore
online drugstores
mexico online drugstores
1 drugstore online
canadian online drugstores
online drugstores spain
foreign drugstores online
See you soon!
viagra pharmacy

 

Post a Comment

<< Home