Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Ramadan Widow's Lamentations

Someone needs to update this blog and since I'm Carol, I guess it's my job.
Enough said: On with the update.

Ramadan is about 3 weeks gone now and Eid is fast approaching. My family loves Ramadan 'cause they're Muslamics. For them, its a time of spiritual renewal, self-evaluation and cleansing. For me,its a time of loneliness and more evidence of our seperate and unique religious traditions.

In the day time they are fasting and tired since they have to wake up to eat a pre-dawn meal. I try to stay out of their way and not make too many demands on them. In the evening they break their fasts at sundown, then hubby goes off to the mosque for an hour or so where the Koran will be recited entirely in the month. He then returns home, eats dinner and spends another hour reading the Koran on his own. We can't go out in the evening since he doesn't want to miss the group reading. Sooo, poor, poor pitiful me is a Ramamdan widow.

The only tengible benefit I get is sympathy Iftar. Even though I don't fast with them because I'm Christian, I'm always ready to join in at Iftar and grab the break-fast goodies. The other day Hubby, Large Hulking Son and I were in Dubai at break-fast time. They stopped the car, ran to the nearest mosque and broke fast on the free food each mosque offers. Since women don't usually attend such gatherings and I was pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate a non-fasting Christian freeloader, I stayed in the car. I must admit, I felt VERY DEPRIVED of my Iftar that day.

Now the moon is waxing and Ramadan is winding to a close. With the sighting of the new moon, a new Islamic month will start and the holiday of Eid will be declared. It is traditionally three days of party foods, meeting friends and neighbors.

It promises to be a quiet and lonely Eid since we are so new here we have only one family we are friends with (Hi Knicq) as for family only Mr and Mrs Abez qualify.

After Eid Hubby will jet back to Pakistan. I'll miss him. Heck, he's not even gone and I miss him already 'cause even though he's here, he's not here. But I really shouldn't complain (even though I am). Somewhere deep inside of me there's a realization that his fasting, extra prayers and studying through Ramadan is part of what I love dearest about my husband, his piety and virtue. His values and devotion to God are the best part of him. They are the reasons I was attracted to him and decided he would be good husband/father material.

A couple of weeks ago he and I were lecturing/yelling at Large Hulking Son. He was justifying his behavior as "all guys my age do it." I was able to counter him with, "No they don't. Your father never behaved like that at your age. That's the reason I married him. That's why he is such a good father. Why don't you act more like him? Why don't you follow his good example?"

So, I stay out of his way, and know that although he's not here for me, in this month, he's here for his God.