Saturday, October 01, 2005

Mozerella Meltdown

I've known my computer was infested and needed "exterminated" for a few days, but can't get Large Hulking Son to disconnect it, tote it to the car so I can deliver it to my Large Hulking Son-in-Law with techie knowledge to fix.

LHS said he could do the "extermination" himself and downloaded a spyware detector. It came back claiming we have no infected files. If we were still in Pakistan, I'd say the bugs have bribed the spyware, but here in the UAE, such blatant bribery is unknown. Anyway... to make a short story long... this morning my internet connection quit on me. I frantically called my family techie support desk, Abez for help. "My mozarella had a melt down and now I can't get on the internet!"

"Are we talking about pizza?"

"No, computers. You know; that firefox mozarella thing that talks to the internet for me."

"Oh, you mean Mozilla Firefox! Bring us the computer and we'll reboot it."

I'm so glad to have tech support that speaks Caroleze.

Oh, yes... I'm the proud great-grandmother of 5 hamster babies!!! Owl's newly aquired hamster couple delivered their first litter. Did you know the gestation period of hamsters is only 16 days?

Well, I didn't, but I know it now. The five hairless and sightless babies are about half as big as my little finger. Good grief, the combined weight of the five babies must be nearly as much as the mother! No wonder she was sucking up every scrap of food like a hoover. The poor father is an underfed weakling compared to her. Owl is delighted by her new pets and we are all anxious for the babies to get old enough to be cute and adorable and full of mischief.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Goin' Mobile

Woo Hooooo This Momma is going mobiletecular. I've got my very first cell phone today. Now all I have to do is figure out how to use it. :(

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

My Two Cents

My letter to the editor was picked as the "Star Letter", given a colored background, boarder and photo making it 1/4 page in size! Now all I have to worry about is the Sharjah "Thought Police" tracking me down and deporting me. Ha... let them try and anyway, they have to find me first! maww haaa haaaa

How are you supposed to find anything in Sharjah? Frequently secondary and tertiary roads aren't named. Blocks and buildings aren't numbered. Streets are irregular and chaotic in their design. Maps, as rare as hen's teeth, are outdated by the area's rapid growth before they are printed. Change and growth are good, but you can't run a large city like a village.

I struggle every time I have to tell a service provider, deliveryman or friend how to find my flat since I live in an unnumbered building on an unnamed street. Having your pizza delivery man drive around lost for 40 minutes may be upsetting, but what if it were an ambulance responding to a life threatening situation? God forbid I should ever need police, ambulance or fire fighters. It worries me that they would lose valuable time being lost in the maze.

What is being done to correct this public hazard before a major tragedy occurs? What would happen if a school full of children caught fire or there was a gas explosion in a crowded apartment building? Could aid reach them in the quickest possible time? I seriously doubt it.

Please use your paper to address some of the glaring inadequacies in city planning that threaten the safety and well being of all.

I can't provide an address as I don't have one.


Monday, September 26, 2005

Spontanious Murderous Poetry

This morning while cleaning up the living room (read as damamge control from Large Hulking Son-LHS) I surveyed his mess all over the room. He'd used the lid of the candy dish as an ashtray again, his clothes and dishes were strewn about and as usual, he had left his bedding and pillows tossed on the floor. I spoke aloud my displeasure;

He's used the candy dish lid as an ashtray AGAIN!
I'd like to shoot him,
No, I'd hang him by the neck till he was dead,
He drives me crazy,
He's big and lazy,
And he doesn't make his bed.

What's a mother to do when she is driven to spontaniously generate hate poetry?